Our article, Is There a Connection Between Grief and Resilience? opened with a well-known quotation from philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger". His legacy of observations also offers us this commentary on life: "To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering" (Source: BrainyQuote).

His words lead us to this thought: surviving the death of a loved one involves finding meaning in the suffering of bereavement. It's in this suffering (a natural and essential part of the grief process) you'll ultimately find reasons to move forward with your life. It's through "grief work" that healing and personal transformation occur.

The work of grief involves recognizing - and striving to complete - the four tasks of mourning (as described in our article How to Manage the Effects of Grief and Stress), which are:

1. Accept the reality of the loss
2. Fully experience the changing 'pains' of grief
3. Successfully adjust to your changed environment
4. Reinvest in your life and in new relationships

But when you've achieved those four things, you'll not return to who you were before the death of your loved one; in truth you'll be a changed person. One woman actually described her grief experience of transformation as a "rebirth"; through constructively mourning the loss of a loved one, she became stronger and more resilient. She felt her bereavement had not only enhanced her outlook on life and confidence in her own strengths and abilities, but also her ability to set realistic goals and consistently move toward them. Through her grief work she developed her communication and problem-solving skills, as well as her ability to manage strong feelings and negative impulses. Despite its hardships, her grief work had forever changed her - for the better.